Back to the Drawing Board in 2019) Studying the Goodness of God, when his providences are elusive?

All is well, said the woman who's son had died to Elijah... We women express interesting faith and unbelief cycles in scripture. I can identify with the unbelief of the NT father who said Lord I believe, help my unbelief, but for the life of me, I will never understand the faith of All is Well, when her son had died? My faith is often tried in my own experiences and especially when it comes to the experiences of my children. I was so relieved to find that Jerry Bridges had had the same experience that I did, when it came to the building up of his shield of faith. I was taught in childhood to "offer it up" which was akin to denying the circumstance as a rightful expression of God's wrath upon our untoward sinful humanity. I kept thinking through my childhood, what kind of friend treats his creation like that. I didn't see any goodness in the terms "offer it up". God is good. The woman with Elijah seemed to understand that God is drawing us into friendship and He uses His providences to grow us into greater communication with Him. We cannot understand or be friends with a long-suffering God if we don't learn long-suffering through crisis. It took years to understand that part of God's winsomeness. He is trying to make us able to communicate with Him.

God I know that You are amazing in the long-suffering attribute, the wellness of Your purpose, might ellude me, but I know that is who you are and that You are my friend and drawing me even closer to Yourself, so the purposes of Your allowing this hardness is "For Your Glory!"

Nothing Between was a motto for 2015 or '16, when I started giving a hymn theme to the year to try to remember. I am trying to grow in my faith and live to get into closer relationship with God, in spite of the fact that my dear girl has inherited the challenge of higher blood pressure to control. It is challenging to lasso this hard fact and bring it into captivity, using medicine and diet and exercise. I believe God has good purposes. I believe God loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life and most of all I believe that God loves my children more than I do!

Thank You Lord for developing my shield of faith and teaching me to trust You a little more with each challenge. Amen.

Nothing between

my soul and the Savior, Naught of this world's delusive dream; I have renounced all sinful pleasure; Jesus is mine, there's nothing between.

Nothing between my soul and the Savior, So that His blessed face may be seen; Nothing preventing the least of His favor, Keep the way clear! Let nothing between.

Nothing between, like worldly pleasure; Habits of life, though harmless they seem, Must not my heart from Him e'er sever; He is my all, there's nothing between.

Nothing between, like pride or station; Self-life or friends shall not intervene; Though it may cost me much tribulation, I am resolved; there's nothing between.

Nothing between, e'en many hard trials, Though the whole world against me convene; Watching with prayer and much self-denial, I'll triumph at last, with nothing between.