Thursday, March 22, 2018

Praying from the sideboard!

I feel like I am learning from the dutch women that I have observed to do my prayers as "Pray-Do's". A specific set of prayers that are in conjunction with the chores that need to be completed. ie. Prayers for cleansing, while cleaning, prayers for each child while handling their clothes and items, prayers for specific groups of people in the rooms that represent them. I am not always organized in my delivery of these prayers as they come and go, but I know that God knows my heart. The prayers from my sideboards are sometimes as neglected as my sideboards are. But when I get to them, they are a "doooozeee".

Today, I am praying for you, while I cut the ingredients for the soups that I made today. I pray that you are fulfilled and eagerly anticipating this wonderful new season that you are launching into, as you turn in your resignation from the movie theater. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life and happiness. We are on your team and here for you, if you need to talk about it! Amen.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Oh dear, Emily the Hobbit has me bogged!

Everytime, I try to read it it makes me sit in one spot! I know you can't understand this bogging! Chapter 3 it is the heather references. I am sitting in the heather. I want to buy a field of heather to read chapter three in. I want to sit there and look the elves in the face and say, what are you laughing about? Why are you so giddy, today? The movie shows a sober group of elves. They seem so wise and serious in the movie, but perhaps Tolkien was referring to heather to mean that they were drunk in that scene. I simply am stuck there. Why do I see a bunch of drunkards, Gandalf and the elves popping five and singing bar room songs? I am just sitting there.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

The Privileges of Singleness

Happy Travels
As you enter the last leg of your journey home from this excursion, there are a few things that I hope that you would not forget to thank God for, while counting your blessings.
Safe travels on the bus is my number one area of gratitude, each time you girls take on a trip.
Sounds like you had fun, even though you didn't go to Brooklyn. BUMMER. I was nearly tasting those exotic Brooklyn chocolates that I thought you might bring me home, had you gone there. It was quite by accident that I happened on that tourist attraction. I sent it to you from the NYTimes pages. The freedom to go or not is a wonderful privilege.
I do miss you intensely, while you visit here and there. But just imagine the wonder of visiting Grammy Jackie in her waning moments and what a great experience to pass on to others. The wonder of hearing her describe her time on the dock of the Jordan River to Glory. The visits from heaven and earth were awe inspiring. There is nothing like hearing her own words describing it.
Happy Sunday. Will see you in an hour or two, but in the meantime, count your blessings.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

The Privilege of being a Christian Woman in America!

Or whatever country you may go...
I grew up during the civil rights era. I saw women and men losing hope and thought that they would ever have equal rights with their white counterparts all over the country. If this was true in NY, it must have been more true in other states, where the covers of provincial behavior dull the senses to such things. Learning the glory and the beauty of walking uprightly and not thinking yourself above or beneath other people is an evolving view, on this side of Martin Luther King.

I lived and analyzed with the premise that all that my earthly father thought about "Blackness" was eroneous and not to be accepted. I did all I could to find what there was about "Blackness" was owned of God and blessed by His presence. At first, I imitated this woman, who I thought was the epitome of Christian virtue, including her posture. I came to find out that she had scoliosis and her posture was not her humility. It took years to find a balance of posture, humility and human pride.

How do they grieve with such hope? How do they praise with such abandon? Why does God seem so close and is that true? On the one side of "Blackness". And then, in terms of my observation of other people groups...Why do they have so much thought and truth exposed and not rejoice in these things? Why does God seem far, when they seem so penitent? Doesn't God own the truth that they are preaching? Why does God seem so far here and so close there?

God is truly the God on the mountain and in the valley, was my final analysis. God is present, whether close or far. He is present when we gather. He has given us all things richly to enjoy. The coldness of doctrine and the old things and the heat of present experiences, are both from His holy hand. We must accept and love the wonder of the presence of God in each estate. I don't know why it took me so long to see that very clearly.

Learn to love who and what you are. Walk uprightly and know that one day every valley will be exalted and every mountain and hill made low!

The wonder of living in a post civil rights era has lent my generation with some advantages of living apart from our cultures, if we choose to. Sometimes this was good and sometimes this wasn't so good. You can be so close to beauty and miss it. You can try to live a life that God didn't intend you to. You can despise many things about your own culture that God loves. I really don't know what that means for your generation. Not having lines of demarcation regarding your ethnicity. No Blackness, no Whiteness, perhaps this is good and perhaps there is no identity at all.

I want you to be the best woman you can be. Not the best Black woman, you can be. Although, I never want you to deny your ethnicity. I want you to see your ethnicity as your launching pad and not your limitation. I want you to enjoy the beauty of every culture, as if it were your own. I want you to deny the pitfalls of every culture, as if it were your own. Only in Christ can we do this. Enjoy the "all things richly" and only let sin make you cringe and not skin color or cultural mores.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Thoughts from Anna in Chapter one{when my heart is overwhelmed...}

Then I quitted the side of my sleeping boy, triumphant in his dreamless innocence, and sat defeated by the window, to crave counsel and help from the ever-present Friend; and as I waited I sank into a tumultuous slumber, from which at last I started to find the long-tarrying dawn climbing over a low wall and creeping through a half-open shutter.
I am fawning over the sense of resignation to providence that this woman took on such a task. Every teaching assignment holds a sense of fear and trepidation and leaning on the Everlasting Arms. I would say that your own children make your heart sit on the edge, with the awesomeness of the task and the promised judgment that God has uttered for those who place the stumblingblocks in their way. But the way that this woman, in her obvious grief took on a heathen nation's monarch and his children, with abandon to the grace of God, is amazing. From the first chapter where fearfulness on the boat made her quiver, she put it perfectly---
Craving Counsel and Help from "The Ever Present Friend".
Most times this is the only help in a chosen profession or task.
When my heart is overwhelmed!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

A couple of days after Thanksgiving,

I woke in the night and enjoyed some of the last bites of the lasagna and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to serve my family from the cookpot!
I savored the delicious, fatty encouragements to plan for Christmas. I savored the memory of my dear Emily laboring with me in cooking up some of what we enjoyed.

Even though I haven't yet made the cheesecake and the nuts in the pecan pie broke a tooth of mine, it was worth the feasting moment.

I will be spending all of 2018 doing crunches to find my waistline again. Still, it was worth the enjoyment, to me. We didn't try to make much ado with anyone outside our family, so I didn't have a girdle to hold me back from my feasting, this year and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Help me, Hanna! I have fallen and I can't get up! LOL

Saturday, November 25, 2017

I found my mixer and mixed up alot of delicious treats!

Eggplant, Corned Beef, Lasagna, Roast Beef, Rice and peas, mac and cheese, chocolate cream pie, brownies, meatballs, broccoli, salad, not to mention Turkey and "cranberry sauce{not made by me}". I am still stuffed on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.
I have been picking at the eggplant today. I love it, without too much sauce. I am tasting something in it that I don't really care for, either. Ben and I thought that it was the lemon pepper that gave it a raw flavor. I don't think so. With the heaps of sauce that he dumped on it, it may have been the lemon pepper that stood out.
So, I took 2 or 3 helpings without sauce... I had made alot of it, Ben and I. So there is still half the pan left. The older I get the more I think about my health, after Thanksgiving. Not as much my waistline, as at earlier days.
I did my usual Pump It UP!routine for "Shake Your Booties"Day. {my name for "Black Friday"} The day we shake off the calories we put on on Turkey DAY! I could shake for a month and I would still be 20 pounds heavier this year, for how I snacked, while preparing this meal. Well, the taste of the eggplant, first was a kind of a dirty taste, underlying. I ate it anyway. Then the 2nd helping I didn't get that flavor, it all seemed to go together, somehow.

So, my pre New Years resolution is to pump it up 2 or 3 times a week and do a liquid diet with that. I bet I lose some weight with that regimen, although that is not the goal, just to clean out my arteries from all that picking on the pies and the cream and the butter. Maybe my arteries will thank me, by not completely closing down, as they should after all that I ate!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Where's My MIXER????

Now that women don't cook everyday, it is a real effort to prepare Thanksgiving! I am digging in the pile of stuff the children cleared from the kitchen. They were going to throw my mixer away? No!!! Maybe, I won't cook, then.
I can totally identify with my father's screaming and taking the roof off of the house that his hammer was moved! WHERE IS IT?

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Thoughts on the way to Chowan.

After service was over, we went home and took a nap and ate a bit.  Then it was time for the goodbyes.  Whatever happened to “parting is such sweet sorrow”. Adieiu and such things.   They get so sordid these days. Now that they are grown people.  I often had a regimen of departure that we would follow.  When they were little tykes we had a sweet song that we sang for our daddy each day to bid him goodbye.  Now it is every man for himself and I am not the controller of the thoughts that are engaged in and shared at such sacred moments.   I think they are sacred moments.  I can almost feel the hands of my daddy smacking us with aftershave and saying in a growl. “This will put hair on your chests”. We were his little fellows and my children were reared to be “little pilgrims” and now we are in a new season where there are no tiny “truglodytes" and we are just winging it with our traditions.  New traditions of free expression and nonconformity is the order of the day.  It is a “hippy” time for our family and we are learning to get used to it and perhaps love it.  Each person is a single entity.  They are not a family unto themselves yet and they are exploring their lives and their vocabulary.

The out of control feeling for a person like myself who studied and developed their thinking upto a point and meticulously fed their minds with pro-family propaganda.  Of course their rebellion is the pro individual sort.  Whatever happened to the wonderful unity that we seemed to have, when they were little.   Perhaps it was a mirage.  Perhaps it grew into a bunch of grown individuals who just keep bumping into each other and getting into each others hair.

That is who we are.  Who we are right now.  Establishing and developing the individual faith of a bunch of individuals.  It was heartening to see my teenage son praying in service and raise his hand in confidence of his own faith.  I enjoyed that.  The folly of our playful banter can’t take that away from me.  The folly of our loving acceptance of one another with out fear.  I forget some of the the fear that kept us from back talk and other things.  The fear that kept us from free expression, I never want to go back to. 

The wonderful imagination of Jay Adams book when I first read his book about the family and he spent nearly a chapter on how children take mercy and grace for granted in a family.  I remember saying that I could not imagine such a thing.  Children running to their father and saying something positively vile and sordid and not ducking.  Jay Adams said, if you are a merciful parent you will have that happen.   I couldn’t imagine it.  I followed his way, as much as I could and now when they go there, I can take out my sordid language and threaten them with toothlessness.  We both know that we will always love each other and that we would never do anything to really harm one another though we get in each others last nerves.  One day it will all be a memory and the thought that the quiet memories of our bustling house will be a story of yesteryear is motivating and cultivating.  Take it down now.  You may not remember and when they have to read this story to you from the blog, you can say, did that really happen to me?  Did Ezra really kiss me in the mouth and say, see you tomorrow mom, in his nearly manly voice?  Enoch was calling how many times to find out about what cupcakes and what ice cream to get?  Was I there?  Was Ethan sleeping next to me in service with all that noise and bumping of the black church traditions and he could sleep?  He is like his father was at that age.  A full mind and a tired heart,  he will find his way.  He will find his spiritual passion.  He will wake up to the things that we all are grateful for.  Busyness and messiness of life has created great a people after a while.  Maybe a long while and maybe a very long while and maybe tomorrow…

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Thanks for all your help, during the evacuation!

Not easy to move a small tribe like ours on a dime. But you were up to the task. A few glitches, for sure,that we will need to troubleshoot and update our processes. Still,all in all it was a smooth run. God had some treasured lessons for us that we couldn't have learned by staying home. We are all plucked as brands from the burning in our souls and always to be ready to move in the rapture. That was a delightful first practice session and no one was "left behind".