My Maternal Syllabus.

There are certain movies that are musts, if you would run the race of motherhood, in my opinion. They are like a banana, they say, when you are running a marathon. When you have flown as hard as you can physically go, you are half way there, from the movie, Gahool.

I love my mamas and grandmamas and I try to remember them with fondness. I know that you will try to do the same, when I am gone. I find some extra impetus and strength, on occasion, from the stories of the other cultures' maternal/child experiences. I Remember Mama is first on my list.

That daughter studies and lays out for us, the way and skill that her mother had, in negotiating the multiple relationships in her life in a strange land, with her children and husband as a priority. Life gets so complicated and their life was complicated, by the multitude of close relationships and responsibilities that they had. It was clear that it was not because her husband was not the leader in the home, but because he was, that she had the liberty to use her gifts for the upbuilding and love of her children and others.

Mama's love of thrift and consideration, taught her children certain priorities in their lives. I am always struck, in movies, how the heart of an aching mother for her ill child is shown by others, who may have not had that experience.
In the scene of Dagmar's hospitalization, mama gets on her knees and she shocked the tough heart of her most cynical daughter, by doing so. They are such students of our behavior. The daughters were concerned about their sister, it was clear. "Is she sick, is she worsened or better?" Mama?
These life and death struggles of soul are the daily fare of motherhood. In my family the cat would have been put out immediately, before the sickness would have come upon the house. The prevention of those kinds of things are the bent of my maternal heritage.

I remember hearing stories of cat sicknesses, coming upon the children and the expectant mothers and it was taboo, for a child or a woman to be too close to these, "fungal animals" in my upbringing. It was obvious that they were also aware and their aunties had told them the stories also, but love and relationship and children pursuing their bent in life was a higher priority.

I was struck that the care of their mother's emotions was more to the girls than the concern of their sister's well being. This is also a reverse of my family upbringing. Sisterhood, is everything in my family love priority. Mother is secondary to the sisterhood. It must have been Mu that inculcated that to the family, since she was so far from her family love. I grew up with Aunts that were closer than anything. Grandmas and grandaunts who lived and died in eachother's arms. Care of mother's emotions was never even looked at. These girls cared about their mother's concerns. Her dropping to her knees, out of turn was heartwrenching to them.
Clearness of mind came to the mother, there on her knees, scrubbing her floor. It was not God, it was not prayer, perse'. It was clarity and cunning that came to her on her knees there. She thought of a way to get to her child. There must be some way to get to my child. Only when the barricade is manmade, can cunning of maternal pursuit be appreciated. I promised my baby that I would be at her bed, when she awoke; Rules not withstanding.

When the ground has swallowed up the fruit of your womb, that is a barricade that cannot be crossed. That is the barricade set up by God. No person can pass that place. They set up human barricades to divide mother from child and on the knees, we try to cunningly find a way to traverse the generation gaps and the educational gaps and the cultural gaps that are set up to keep us from our sickened children.
Dagmar and mother's embrace, in the hospital room was cathartic to my constant weeping soul. The bereft mother's heart is always in that state, looking for a way to traverse the barricade that God has set up. Catherine, gave me a way to traverse it for a moment as mama got into the hospital room to comfort her little one, my heart is embraced.