Save Some Cheese Doodles for Grandma.

Save Some Cheese Doodles for Grandma

Last night was supposed to be the meteor shower. This makes me think of my grandma. I went back to Grandma’s house, just before the first meteor shower that I saw and that is why I think of her. She is always on my mind. The very dearest person to me, ever, was my Grandma Monica. I know that I will never meet anyone that outdoes her in my heart. God lent her to me and I asked Him so many times for just 5 more minutes to spend with her.

I broke Grand’s heart once, completely out of course. I just knew that Daddy had taught us, that you can love people, but there are certain people that we love that we must never, never emulate. Grandma was one of them. We were in a family party for some reason and everyone was there. I said something smart at 7 years old and Grandma Monica said, you are just like me. I said, no, no Grandma, I never want to be like you! I remember the tears. I remember the way they wisked me away from the scene of mayhem. I didn’t want to break my Grandma’s heart. I just was repeating the sentiments of my father. There was no way that I could know the depth of pain that I had inflicted.

This never daunted the love that we shared with each other. I loved Grandma, we shared birthdays together and she still considered me, her little birthday present. There was no reason. We had nothing in common, except the love we had for each other. She loved flowers and perfume and I loved spiders and dinosaur bones. She thought I was odd and I thought the same of her.
I will never forget the day that I told her that I would want to wear a tuxedo to the prom. Outlandish, we cannot have this. I was making no statement of affections for females, just for the antipathy of frills and such. Still, this antidisestablishmentarianism labeled me to her and got around to others. The talk of the family.

The fact that she missed my wedding by 3 days and persisted that we must go on without her, was mysterious to me. We had dreamed of this for our whole lives and here was I living on without her. I believe that when God changed my soul and picked me up, He heard my prayer for the 5 minutes with Grandma. He gave me more than that. He took me to the bottom of myself. My protected self, could never have seen the real Grandma, that Dad was protecting us from. A nervous breakdown, let me see my Grandma. Not in flesh to hug and talk to, as throughout life. I saw Grandma. I saw the desperate woman, who had to live and raise 2 children alone. I saw the woman who loved her children and grandchildren and lived through the Great Depression and vowed never to be that poor again. I saw the woman who traveled the world and I loved her all the more for what she had left us, in the many dollars that she had saved to give us. I saw the beauty of God’s heart to go after a soul, through many dangers, toils and snares and that, even through excommunication of the church, God will do more to save a soul. I think that God saved my Grandma, in the end. I love God, more, for letting me see her, really. I love my Grandma for encouraging me to go on into marriage to a love that she in life had never known. I love that God taught me that He is the inheritance that we are to labor toward. He saved the cheese doodles for me.